This paper intervenes in the consequences of a myth propagated in academic discourse about the dancesport world, according to which half of the men in Latin dancesport are gay. I challenge two assumptions that surround this myth: that cisgender gay men do not contribute to the reification of the heteronormative gender binary, and that the dancesport scene is inclusive of gay people. These assumptions are based on a blatant lack of understanding of the position of gay men within the dancesport world – that is, the ways in which subjects are constituted through the effects of power. This work is based on empirical research I conducted in the dancesport community, including ethnographic and autoethnographic fieldwork, extant documents (e.g. books, blogs, Judging Regulations) and interviews with experts and participants of the dancesport scene (2021/2022). To analyse the data, I relied on the principles of dispositive analysis, grounded theory and dance analysis. I show that gay dancers have turned to assimilation as their only available strategy. I discuss the negative consequences of assimilation as a political strategy and how it impacted queer dancers – between invisibilisation, residual shame and a failure to challenge the heteronormative gender binary. This led gay dancers to rationalise and perpetrate harm based on the systems of oppression they had internalised. I conclude the paper by highlighting a way beyond assimilation for queer dancers.